I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
