VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
