so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i wish my penis had a tongue
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
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i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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