Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
