I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
