11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
It's Friday. Sex?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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