i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
