what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The power of my boobs compel you
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
