nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
