he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
