Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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