This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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