I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
