pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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