She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
