just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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