you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
