Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
