I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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