Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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