Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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