wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
