do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
