That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I won't apologize to a one balled man
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
