I want to have your abortion
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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