My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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