There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
