That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
