I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
