Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize