if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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