Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
