So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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