I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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