There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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