talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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