when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
nutella sex= disaster
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
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