He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize