So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
