no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
high people should be assigned attendants
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
