I'm drive I can fine osifer
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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