Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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