Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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