I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
