when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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