i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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