Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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