3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
