"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
