Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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