Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
