Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
