Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
